Dear Flatiron,

What happened? I thought we had a good thing going. You and me and the hair dryer against the ever -changing temperature and humidity of the world. Don’t tell the hair dryer (or the phone for that matter), but I always considered you the first wife in my polygamous relationship with appliances. You were my anchor. What got me out the door in the mornings when it was overcast and raining.

I know we had our ups and downs. Our relationship was sometimes abusive – I dropped you a few times, you burned me once or twice. And, sure, there were times when I wore my hair curly, that had to have been hard for you, but it meant nothing to me. Just a silly experimentation that failed. I always came running back.

Maybe I took advantage of you, but let’s face it, that’s kind of your purpose in life. I guess I always knew this day would come, but I thought it would be years down the line. We still had trips to Texas and vacations to take. We were gonna see the world!

The dryer and I, we’ll move on. We’ll find a replacement, a $20 rebound flatiron at first, but one day, when we least expect it, we’ll decide it’s time to go big again and pick up another $100 hair straightener. A keeper. I’ll always remember you though. We had some good times.

Stay Ceramic Ponyboy,